Blog - A Space Between the Sound

They say I can’t control my anger. It’s true. Violence is all I ever knew.
I do get mad and out of control. I hate that I am becoming what hurts
me the most. My step-dad picks on me
and knocks me around. He is a monster, a coward hiding behind his fist.
An man full of hatred
and emptiness.
My mom is scared of him. She ignores it all l. She walks away even
when I am being slammed into the wall. She says it is my fault,
because I aggravate him. She needs his paycheck and a roof
over our head.
I would leave, but I got a little sister and she is my world. He goes after her.
That is when I fail,
to control myself and I fight for her. He is bigger than me.
I take the blow. The pain stings my skin. Still, he comes after me and
not her; for now I win. I bite , I throw things. The room starts to spin.
I fall to the floor
The next thing I know. The police are at the door.
I am charged with assault. Really? “I am the one with the problem?
Who is the adult, anyway?” They handcuff and take me away.
I see my little sis as the police drive away. She waves through the glass
and I pray she’s OK.
I am almost 16, maybe we can run away and be safe. Where would we go?
Where would we stay? Why does life have to be so insane? Why am I in jail?
I was trying to fight him off my sister.
I have to find a way to figure this out. I will tell my side of the story if nothing else.
Maybe they will check and see if she is OK
When I get out of here I will begin my plan. I will be better. I will get a job and my GED. My step dad will not define me. My sister and I will leave. Start our own world, with no anger, no abuse, and no cruelty. I will choose who I am and what I stand for.
I will be the man my step dad could never be. I will be a great dad. Protecting my sister and making her proud. We will be safe. We will be
happy. I will be brave and a kind role model. We will be warriors that are honorable. Finally I will build the best version of me.

My Fight “My life is not something I want. It is something I live. Just try to support me, instead of changing me. I don’t need more stress. Help me find who I am. I want to believe I am not broken. I want to mend.”

“She is the Sun. The Light. The quintessence of life. Illuminating the clouds.

Bestowing life into the moon. Stretching down and vanishing within the shadows. The Mother Star of our Earth. She is the Sun. Toiling away as half the world sleeps.Never to Breathe.Never to Recess. Never to Slumber. She is the Sun.

At the rise and fall of each day she paints the sky with Grandeur. Without her kiss each color is bare. Without her adorn trees are torpid. Without her warmth, life will cease. She is the Sun. She is Glorious. She is Essence. She is our Ground. She is our Soul. She is our star. She is the Sun,”

“They surrendered to her spell. They fell deeply, until they were Lost in her abyss. Her waves, her current, swept them under and She was their breath. She carried them deeper into another space, a distant place. The stage, the dancers, the crowd were as one, yet separate, and in between. Mystical, surreal, in a dream. Embraced, absorbed, within her energy. Her tide released them. Only to draw them in again. Intertwined, immersed in perpetual motion. The Dance had a life of her own. She rose up to the surface to gather light from the sea’s foam. She took it’s warmth and lifted them beyond this earth. Renewing them. Changing them forever. Granting birth. The Dance cast her spell. For a moment frozen in time. True magic was real.’

“Within the numbness I glimpse the dancing specks of light. Like tiny stars over my head the disappearing, melting out of sight. Falling snow drifting down on me. I exist, I breathe, I feel emotion. I find peace. The snow no longer resides in me. I close my eyes. I feel the warmth. The falling snow it thawed my heart.”

“With her eyes closed she absorbed the beauty. A foggy morning, the sky was grey. Birds carried the breeze, as it brushed her skin. With deep breathes she satisfied her soul. An ever so slight rain arrived. She was free. She could see her dreams. She opened her eyes. The bare trees lined up like statues kissing the sky. In the stillness, she found herself, she saw her dreams. She was free.”

THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ARE AT WAR

“Thousands of people are at war, fighting a battle that no one sees. Bullied on school buses, playgrounds, and behind the scenes.

Thousands of people are at war, fighting a battle that no one sees. Mauled with scars too deep to reach, to heal, or to treat. Worn down by judgement, discrimination, and poverty.

What can we do? What can we say? Stopping this torment takes awareness each day. Listening, caring, and offering respect. Doing our part to make a difference.

Thousands of people are at war, fighting a battle that no one sees. Ridiculed with violence, slavery, and persecution. Used, abused, and broken.

Thousands of people are at war fighting a battle that no one sees. Surviving without food, warmth, or electricity. Deprived of water and basic needs.

Teased and made fun of because they stink.